SIOUX CITY - Teenagers speeding by the mall's east side bus stop in a red '98 Dodge Neon informed legal aid, Nathan "Chunky" Babcock, that he was a "loser" yesterday morning. "I was just waiting for the bus when this car full of teenagers yells something at me," explains Babcock, "I was pretty sure they said 'loser', but I guess it is a possibility they might have said 'hoosier' despite my lack of an Indiana upbringing."
In order to discover a motive for the drive-by insult, Sioux City News reporters bribed DMV officials to receive a listing of all Sioux City 16-18 year olds who drive a red '98 Dodge Neon. Names were then cross-checked with addresses to pinpoint who was most likely responsible.
When asked why he would do such a thing, the unrepentant street punk reported, "He was a loser. Only a loser would take a bus. What is wrong with him, does he not own a car?"
In actually Babcock does own a car and he is taking the bus in order to do his part to fight global warming. "I think we know who the real 'loser' is," cryptically added former vice president and current Sioux City News editor, Al Gore.
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3 comments:
Luke, it looks like you have gotten comfortable in Sioux City. I hope you send this blog link to the local news channel. The weather man goes to Jim's church. You should tell him about your field work.
thanks for getting the truth out there, man.
oh dear goodness
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